Chinese food, guilt, housecleaning, and the right bra

Today is Sunday, I'm working at the bookstore, and felt the need to write a little. Catharsis is good for the soul, as they say.

Friday night was good... for hanging out... (tip of the hat to Bernie/Elton for "Saturday night's alright for fighting")

There was another weather emergency in the local area on Friday, and my good friend T was going to have to work a VERY long day. I talked to her around 7 pm and found out that she would still be there for hours, and was craving Chinese food. I offered to bring her some, if she could get clearance from S to let me come by the "forbidden studios" (see the post below, no good deed goes unpunished" for further details on that drama). The permission was granted, and I brought them by the requested egg drop soup and various fried rices (chicken for T, shrimp for S, veggie for me, since it was a Lenten Friday) around 9-something.

The bringing-food-by also allowed me to ditch some of my guilt over another to-do on Friday. Friday morning I started receiving emails from members of my old social group - the friend who accused me of being "sneaky and rude" and the ex, B. It transpired to be the birthday celebration for the female friend's husband, and they were all trying to get some plans together.
I read these emails with a sense of detachment, as I knew I would feel supremely uncomfortable to be at this gathering. The man whose birthday was being celebrated is a salt-of-the-earth, all-around-nice-guy kind of fella, and I genuinely would have liked to have wished him happy birthday. But his wife has not apologized, either directly or indirectly, for flipping out on me for an imagined affront. And I've decided, in my old age, that I don't want to be around people who could so easily accuse me of doing something awful, and then recess into denial as if they had never said awful things to or about me. This also includes not being around my ex. It's not that he is a bad person, per se, it is just that he was a bad person for me, and I was a lesser version of myself when I was with him.

And I don't want to be a lesser version of myself anymore. Every relationship one chooses to be in should make them a better version of themselves.

(sorry, had to pause there - had a visit in the store from the aforementioned T and her lovely children, who have grown SO MUCH since the last time i saw them)

So, as I was saying, relationships should push us to be the best person we can be. And my relationships with some of that friend group was not. B called me a "bitch" the last time I saw him, and I resolved that would pretty much be the last time I spent any significant amount of time with or near him. I, as an adult, don't have to spend time with people who have disdain for me.

The hype over this gathering on Friday reached it's crescendo with a voice-mail message on Friday, while I was working at the bookstore, from B, the ex. Making sure I knew about it, in case I hadn't seen the emails, and the details (where / when everyone was meeting, etc). And I did have some anguish over the whole thing - was I being an ass by not attending? But a wise artist from the Artists Market gave me an Oprah platitude that helped - something along the lines of if you have reservations, there is a reason.

So, I resolved not go, even with the twinges of guilt I was feeling about that decision. Being with them, I would have been uncomfortable, and therefore unhappy. And why spend big bucks on a steak dinner to be unhappy on a Friday night? I was so much happier to spend $13.50 on take-out Chinese and hang out with two broadcasters whose company I enjoyed (and who enjoyed my company).

Saturday was a slightly different story. I kept on waking and falling back asleep, and missed my Saturday 10:15 am Pilates class. Life goes on, though I could have used it after my chinese food on Friday. I finally woke at 11-something, and realized all the power in my apartment was off (my alarm clock was un-clocked, there were no lights in the main room, and, most telling, the cable box was not displaying time). I threw on a sweatshirt and shoes, and stepped outside. A guy who works for the bike shop was washing a truck, and he told me it was out all over the block. I called it in to the local power utility, anyway.

Then I realized I had few options on how to while away my Saturday afternoon - clean or read. A phone call from Nicole distracted me for about an hour, but when she had to go, I had too much time on my hands. While talking to her, I had already folded and put away all my previously tossed a corner clean laundry. I made a list of cleaning (like I always do and ignore) and started to check things off. I didn't shower, because my hair is at the length that needs blow-drying or a straight iron to achieve non-ski-jumpiness in the back. Without electricity, one cannot straight iron their hair.

Even when the power came back on, I continued cleaning. I've moved the box of paper wrap back in the weird semi-storage space in my bedroom. Before I showered, I scrubbed my shower/tub (with Soft Scrub and brush).

I finally showered around 6 pm, a big "I've got time so let's take a long shower" shower. I shaved and exfoliated and moisturized. (You girls understand how time consuming that can be). Then I found out my plans for the night had fallen through, due to an overnight stomach bug. So, I was shaved and styled and moisturized, with nowhere to go. I called T, but she couldn't come out and play. So, I did more housecleaning - unloading the dishwasher, washing the rag rugs from my kitchen and bathroom. I also gathered (from the 3 or 4 places they collect) and sorted and stacked all my magazines, and just need to list them before i box them up for library donation (for tax write-off). I watched some TV, and decided to purge more of my closet into the charity bags - a few more old handbags are going bye-bye.

Tonight, I think I will swiffer my floors again (all rooms), dust the ceiling fan in my bedroom, scrub the bathroom sink and kitchen sink, and vacuum out all the little crevices in my kitchen. Or, more hopefully, I'll get out of the house. An overclean house scares me. I'm not used to it.

Actually, I REALLY need some furniture. A dresser to actually keep clothing in. A bedside table. A computer desk so I can get my kitchen table back. But that's when I find some good stuff, and the budget allows.

I can't believe I forgot to post about one of the most important things to happen to me this week - the purchase of the 62 dollar bra. This week, I went to the foundation garments store in town, A Fitting Place, and got fitted for the right size bra. And even though the lady didn't believe me when I told her my size (34-DDD, which is also known as 34-F), she soon confirmed it with her measure tape. I told her I didn't like minimizers (they flatten you out, and the center stays come up too high on the neckline), and which brand bra I would like to try out, Le Mystere (which sells Oprah's favorite bra). I tried two on, and fell in love with one model, the Carina. The Dream Tisha is the one that Oprah loves, but the shoulder straps were too wide for my tank tops.

Yeah, I know most women wouldn't complain about having big ones, but we all have our burdens. My other larger-breasted friends know the pain (and it is), of having to find the right bra (with right architecture, etc) and then the right clothes to work with the big ones. But, ladies, let me tell you, these bras are great. Even if you are more average-sized, I suggest trying these out. They have a smaller selection at some department stores, but I also found them online at Nordstrom. Though, before you go buying any, go to the department store or foiundation garment store and get fitted. You think you know your bra size, but you are probably wrong. There is some statistic that says that most women are wearing the wrong size. You gain weight, you lose weight, you have babies - all of these things change the shape and size of your rack. Trust me, it is such an ego boost to be wearing a great bra in the right size. Everything looks and feels better, and it makes you look thinner - really! I highly recommend it.

I should sign off. I've got 20 minutes left in my shift here. :)