from my eharmony quiz... enjoy! this is based on the quiz questions from the Personality Profile. (I haven't paid for the service; I'm just surfing the freebies.) Do you think these match with what I should be looking for / whom I've previously dated???
Jess's Compatibility Profile Summary
No person can be fully described or defined by a few short sentences. However, here are several of the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate:
Some of your ideal mates strongest personality characteristics are:
He tends to be caring compassionate and sensitive towards the needs of others.
His friends consider him someone who can be trusted and relied upon.
He generally does his best to be honest in all situations, even when it can be difficult.
He has a very good sense of right and wrong, and almost always tries to be the best person he can.
Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
He is always a generous and supportive friend.
He almost always manages to be open-minded and flexible.
Like you, he has lighthearted moments that help him see and share the positive side of life.
Even when things get bad, he can usually appreciate the good things life has to offer.
Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:
Family ties are important to him.
He likes spending time with family and relatives.
Starting a new family is not one of his major goals.
He occasionally enjoys spending time with children.
Social Orientation describes how much of your behavior is motivated by the desire to get along with and be liked by other people, as well as how much is driven by the desire to be seen as an effective problem solver and self sufficient. People with a strong External Orientation place a high value on communicating their thoughts and feelings with other people. People with a strong Internal Orientation place a high value on individual effectiveness, competence and autonomy The dimensions that we assess as part of your Social Orientation are Conflict Management, Character, Vitality and Security, Communication Style, Kindness and Autonomy.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Communication: Your ideal companion is a man who is good at both expressing his thoughts and feelings and listening others. He's generally patient and accepting of what people say. Friends and family may describe him as the kind of person who sometimes needs a reminder to avoid talking over someone in a conversation or to realize that not everyone in the room necessarily agrees with what he is saying. However, his heart is always in the right place.
Kindness: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who wants to support you through life's ups and downs. He will be willing to be there for you emotionally, but he may not always know the best way how. You don't need the perfect man, but you will do best with someone who tries to be sensitive to your feelings, even if he isn't always perfectly attuned to your needs. You and your ideal mate will be mutually supportive, but won't demand more from each other than you are willing to give.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Character: Your ideal mate is a man who genuinely tries to care for others. His friends see him as someone who knows he's not perfect, but who makes a sincere effort for the important people in his life. He can show great kindness for others on occasion, but is by no means a saint. He will appreciate your compassionate side, but will also understand and empathize with your feeling that there are times when your personal needs and in life may overshadow concern for other people.
Autonomy: You will be best matched with someone who is interested to know all the important things about your past, but is equally if not more interested in experiencing the present and building a future together. You are most compatible with someone who believes that communication is vital in creating a healthy relationship, but you may have problems with someone who feels a burning need to know every last detail about your past or every thought that crosses your mind. When in a relationship: Your ideal partner sees himself as part of a couple, but still maintains his independence and identity.
Vitality and Security: You need a man who is honest and reliable. He has a good understanding of what it takes to make a relationship work over the long haul. He wants to build a relationship that will last, but doesn't need you for constant support. He shares your desire for stability and longevity. Friends describe him as the kind of person who wants to make his partner feel cared for and safe.
Conflict Resolution: You'll be happiest in the long run with a man who understands that not all conflicts can be resolved easily, and that sometimes it's important to stand up for what you believe. He's the kind of person who thinks resolving conflict is important, but making peace isn't worth sacrificing his beliefs. If he thinks he's right, he will probably argue his position, even if it means a disagreement is going to get more heated before it gets resolved.
The Extraversion scale assesses how you feel when you are around people. Extroverts are generally comfortable at the center of attention. They rarely feel a need for "alone time" and are almost always eager to meet new people. Introverts, on the other hand, avoid the spotlight when they can, approach many social gatherings with hesitation and relish time spent with good friends whom they know well. While most people exhibit a mix of Introvert and Extrovert qualities based on what kind of social situation they are in, people who are strongly Extroverted often place the largest value on having many friends and making new friends easily. In contrast, people who are strongly Introverted generally place the highest value on having a few very deep and meaningful friendships. The dimensions of your profile which are associated with Extraversion are Emotional Energy, Sociability, Adaptability, Humor, Romantic Passion and Dominance.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Romantic Passion: Your ideal mate definitely enjoys engaging in the occasional romantic gesture, such as a night of soft music, candles and good conversation. He needs to have a strong romantic spark with his partner, but he doesn't think that romance is the only important part of the relationship. He has a sensual side and looks forward to physical and emotional closeness with his partner, but it might take him some time in a relationship before he opens up fully.
Humor: Your ideal mate has the ability to see the lighter side in most situations. He is generally able to find something funny in everyday sights, like uptight waiters or rebellious teenagers. He likes to be entertained with humor, such as pithy observations about passersby, jokes or even unintended puns. He's the kind of person who enjoys being around funny people, either because they ignite his own ability to make people laugh, or just because they keep him smiling about life. His friends see him as someone who has a good sense of humor but who also has a serious side when dealing with important issues.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Adaptability: Your ideal mate likes to sometimes find new ways to deal with old challenges. He can think up creative solutions to a problem but doesn't discount the tried-and-true answers. His friends describe him as someone who generally has a fresh take on any given situation but who isn't driven to recreate the wheel every time he's faced with a task or challenge. You are likely to find it frustrating to deal with someone who can never seem to do something the same way twice, but you also chafe at people who can't accept new approaches to problems when the old solutions have stopped working.
Emotional Energy: You'll be happiest in the long run with a man who's generally outgoing and vivacious but who appreciates a regular dose of quiet and relaxation to keep him at his best. His friends might describe him as someone who'd rather do something right away rather than put it off for later, whether it's a chore at home or a complex task at the office. At the same time, he likes to carve out time for himself and his own interests. He appreciates having stability, but if he feels life is getting too routine he isn't afraid to venture out and rectify the situation. If he falls into too much of a routine, he's likely to worry that life is passing him by and take steps to rectify the situation.
Dominance: You are best suited to someone who doesn't take competition to extremes. He likes to win but doesn't need to do so at all costs. He is competitive and aggressive when the situation warrants it - such as when vying for a promotion at work or playing football with friends - but generally accepts a loss with grace. He shares your belief that not everything's a contest, even though it's sometimes fun to pit yourself against others or push yourself to perform.
Sociability: You'll be happiest with a man who likes to spend time with old friends and make new ones. Like you, he might not always be the first to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but he is rarely tongue-tied once a conversation is underway. On some days, he might start a conversation with a complete stranger because he feels chatty. Other days, he would rather be alone or just talk to people he knows well already. At parties, he's the type of person who isn't afraid to venture outside his immediate group of friends and meet new people.
Openness refers to a person's willingness to experience new and creative ideas. People who score low on Openness tend to place a high value on tradition and belonging to a group. People who score high on Openness tend to place a high value on imagination and individualism. Extreme scores on Openness also often distinguish between people who enjoy thinking in symbols and abstractions to people who prefer ideas which are clear and concrete. The dimensions of your profile that we consider as part of Openness are Artistic Passion, Curiosity and Intellect.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Curiosity: You will be best matched with a man who is eager to find out more about things that interest him. He likes to learn about the world by trying new things, like exotic foods, a far-flung vacation destination or conversations with people from other cultures. Friends describe him as someone who is well-rounded and well-versed in subjects that intrigue him, but he doesn't feel the need to know everything. He'll appreciate your desire to balance "old favorites" with new adventures.
Artistic Passion: You are best suited to the kind of man who enjoys expressing himself creatively on occasion. He has an artistic side, but he probably doesn't think of himself as a die-hard artiste. He has his creative moments, and may like to express his outlook on life and the world around him through things like poetry, painting or music. His friends and family probably see him as creative, but not necessarily an artist.
Intellect: Your ideal mate is knowledgeable and well-read. He appreciates that you are interested in different things but that you aren't driven to be an expert on everything. He values education but isn't consumed by it. He's not the type to do research that would rival a Ph.D. dissertation to decide what to do when a life decision needs to be made, but he probably wouldn't resort to throwing a dart into the Yellow Pages either. His friends and family know him as someone who enjoys knowing a lot about certain subjects, without being someone who always needs to be the "smartest" guy in the room.
Physicality separates people who enjoy being physically energetic and active from those who are uncomfortable or dislike engaging in sports or strenuous activity. Some people push life to the limit, scaling mountains or competing in triathlons. People with a less demanding sense of Physicality enjoy looking at mountains more than climbing them. The dimensions of your profile which comprise the most important aspects of your Physicality are Appearance, Physical Energy and Sexual Passion.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Sexual Passion: Your ideal companion wants to feel a surge of physical excitement associated with falling in love. When he's with his partner he expects a physical connection that goes beyond compatible personalities and interests. Physical intimacy isn't his only, or even his primary interest or need, but you feel a strong physical pull towards being close to him, and he will definitely feel a strong chemical attraction towards you.
Appearance: You are most compatible with a man who wants to look good but doesn't obsess over it. He will appreciate the time and effort you put into your appearance and be happy with the end result, but ultimately he is more concerned with who you are than what you look like. Friends and family know him as someone who is handsome but who doesn't spend hours in front of the mirror.
Physical Energy: You are best suited to someone who likes to stay active, but also enjoys spending quiet time at home. You are most compatible with someone who makes staying healthy and exercising a normal part of their life, but also enjoys kicking back and relaxing when the time is right. Friends probably describe him as someone who enjoys getting his heart rate up but who's also content to spend a Sunday afternoon on the couch watching football or a favorite movie on TV.
Goal Orientation refers to the drive to plan for the future versus the urge to live in the moment. People who score low on Goal Orientation are generally spontaneous and free spirited. They are likely to act on their first impulse and worry about the consequences afterwards and place a high value on being clever and lucky. People who score high on Goal Orientation, on the other hand, are more driven to think about future consequences before acting, place a high value on being wise and cautious and like to always put their best foot forward. The dimensions of your profile that relate to your Goal Orientation are Industry, Ambition, Organization and Education.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Education: Your ideal mate is accomplished academically, but he doesn't overemphasize it. During his school years, he was the type of person who balanced studying with things like extracurricular activities, working or spending time with friends. He wants to have an intellectual connection with his partner, but he's also able to appreciate other things about her, like kindness, character or sense of humor.
Industry: You are best suited to a man who is hard-working yet still takes time out to relax. He is goal-oriented and enjoys accomplishing things, but he doesn't let it consume him. He likes to stay busy, but he isn't averse to a little fun once the work is done. Others see him as the kind of person who values free time too much to spend it all working, although he is capable of buckling down and being enormously productive when work or life demands require it.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Ambition: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who strives to be the best at what he does. He pays attention to his progress and compares himself to others, sometimes judging according to the size of his house or the salary he earns. He understands your desire to be recognized for your accomplishments. Like you, however, he won't turn his quest for success into something that will dominate his life. Things like family, friends and time to himself are important to him.
Organization: You will be best matched with a person who shares your ability to organize and plan for the future when necessary, but who can also appreciate the times when "less is more" in terms of planning and organization. He has a good ability to plan for the future, but he also has a spontaneous side which allows him to enjoy the occasional splurging on a fancy dinner or weekend getaway.
While day-to-day events play a major role in our feelings, there are deep seated patterns of emotion that underlie our personality and stretch across the span of our lives. These patterns are considered your Emotional Temperament. People who score high on Emotional Temperament are generally upbeat about life, are slow to get upset in the face of minor setbacks or disappointments. People who score low on Emotional Temperament are more likely to experience feelings such as anxiety, anger and depression on a regular basis. The dimensions of your profile that comprise your Emotional Temperament are Mood Management, Self Concept, Emotional Status, Anger Management and Obstreperousness.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Self Concept: Your ideal match is someone who is self-assured and agreeable. He believes in himself, so he is willing to take the occasional risk. He won't look to his friends for constant affirmation but might suffer misgivings when faced with stress, such as financial pressures, layoffs at work or a family argument. He wants to fit in but doesn't feel the need to change in order to do so. His friends most likely describe him as someone who's his own person, not reliant on outside approval.
Mood Management: You will be most compatible in the long run with someone whose moods are generally stable. Like most people, he may feel down on occasions, but he's not likely to sink into hopelessness or take his mood out on others. You don't need a Pollyanna, but generally speaking: Your ideal man is calm, kind and optimistic about life.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Emotional Status: You are best suited to a man who is generally happy and hopeful about what life has to offer. There may be parts of his life he'd like to improve, but he generally has faith that he'll attain his goals. When faced with conflict at work or at home he rarely overreacts or feels out of control. Friends see him as someone who tries to focus on the positive in good times and bad.
Obstreperousness: Your ideal mate is someone who isn't afraid to voice his opinion and appreciates the fact that you do the same. He won't be surprised if you disagree with him or argue your position. His friends would probably describe him as the type of person who's more concerned with being right than just having everyone like him. Like you, he may get irritated easily when others disagree with his perspective. However, the two of you will be able to appreciate each others commitment to being honest rather than "politically correct," and shared emphasis on substance over style.
Anger Management: Your ideal mate is someone who can appreciate your assertive personality. He doesn't mind a few "rough edges," and can handle your occasional outbursts. Friends may find your relationship turbulent, but your disagreements should blow over quickly as long as you both maintain a level of mutual respect.
Many significant ingredients, like upbringing, family goals and spirituality combine to form a person's values and beliefs. Whatever form they take, your values are one of the most powerful determinants of your behavior. Values are also play a large role in both who we feel comfortable being around, and who we find attractive. Dissimilarity in values generally causes discomfort or awkwardness in social situations. Although close friends, family and loved ones can often have one or two stark contrasts in their values, this is made possible by a greater number of shared values, backgrounds and experiences that provide a framework of comfort and similarity. When building an intimate relationship, establishing shared values early on is key to long term success. The dimensions that we consider as part of you Personal Values are Traditionalism, Spirituality, Family Goals and Altruism.
Based on your profile, you are most compatible with men who fit the following descriptions:
Family Goals: Your ideal mate is someone who is looking for a woman who shares similar ideas about parenting. He likes kids and probably has clear ideas about raising them. He feels that a couple will be much better parents if they are like-minded in their approach to things like discipline and communication with children. They will also experience more harmony and unity as parents - something he values.
Family Background: Your ideal mate has a good relationship with his family, but it's not perfect. They enjoy talking or spending time together but do have occasional conflict, and there could be certain disagreements that have never been resolved. Generally speaking, his expectations about having a family of his own aren't overly idealistic. He's understands that family dynamics can work even when they're not perfect.
Some additional details about your ideal mate:
Spirituality: Your ideal mate is someone who is probably either involved in a religious community or who enjoys a more individualistic spiritual life. He's the kind of person who respects religious institutions and finds himself drawn on occasion to faith communities. He might attend services, but may not be an active member of a congregation.
Traditionalism: You'll be happiest with a man who considers himself a good person: He has strong values and his moral beliefs are an important part of who he is. He might think people don't need to be sticklers when it comes to their personal beliefs, but he probably believes that values related to religion, country and family provide important general guidelines for life.
Altruism: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who cares about helping strangers but who might not spend a lot of his time doing so. He is someone who generally takes care of his friends when they're in need and who might feel a pang of guilt when he doesn't reach out to assist strangers. Others see him as someone who, with a little encouragement, will join efforts to help, whether it's a canned food drive or a charity fundraiser.
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